As I lay in bed on the first night in my university halls, I was treated to a cacophony of unfamiliar noises. There were police sirens, the hum of distant traffic, and muffled voices of unknown people in the rooms above, below, and on either side of me. This new soundscape was claustrophobic when compared to that of my village, where the nighttime silence is broken only by the occasional bout of birdcall or impassioned mooing.
When I eventually swapped Leeds for Madrid, things only got louder. I was suddenly exposed to midnight rubbish collections, late night parties, and flatmates who didn’t exactly speak in whispers. At the time, I saw it all as one big adventure, but I am now quite glad to be living in an apartment that’s well isolated from the constant din.
I say all this as I’ve come to realise that noise is a consistent and unwavering reminder of where I am. Once the day is over, I lie in bed, turn off the lights, and close my eyes to be alone with my thoughts. Yet the distinctive sounds of my surroundings remain inescapable. While the rest of my senses slowly shut down, I can still hear the city. The city is always there. I never did learn to shut it out.
You see, despite the odd dramatic bird or cow, I miss the stillness of those village nights. Over a decade after I left my hometown, I realise that I’m still drawn to rural life. The Spanish say that ‘the goat always heads for the mountains’. I think I’m no different.
It’s baffling that I didn’t come to this conclusion sooner, really, as the clues have been staring me in the face for years. After moving to Madrid, my regular refuge became Asturias, where I found myself right at home in its small towns between rolling hills. I then discovered Vermont, a US state whose name meaning ‘green mountain’ requires no further explanation.
Whilst walking around Los Urrutias, I felt this familiarity once again. Despite a lack of greenery, I was at ease amongst the quiet streets of this little Murcian town. It didn’t feel like home, but it definitely felt more comfortable than the big city.
I’ve no idea where the future may take me, and neither am I in any rush to make any big changes. But, despite the noise of the city, I now sleep easier in the knowledge that I understand what I want.
