The Spanish eat so late!
They speak so loud!
Everyone is so direct!

Before moving to Spain, I’d heard the rumours, and just a few days into my living here, I could confirm that at least these three were true. But it’s been a while now, and I think I’ve just about gotten used to all that. Me he españolizado. But there’s still one thing that has me at a loss, both figuratively and literally: the lack of decent signage.

Whether it’s a hospital or a department store, my local supermarket or a train station, there’s always a noticeable lack of decent wayfinding here. We Madrilians might complain about the terrible signage on the city’s ring road, but the problem is much more widespread than just some dodgy signs on slip roads. No matter your location, it’s an odyssey to figure out how to get to where you want to go or, even worse, where you already are.

I’m not exaggerating. Take any complex building or structure, and you’ll be faced with one of two scenarios. There might be a complete lack of signs, in which case you can either ask for directions or simply head off on an adventure to try and find what you’re looking for. Alternatively, you’ll find a disjointed system of haphazard and often homemade signs, often improvised by exasperated employees who are fed up of attending to people who are unable to orient themselves. This visual cacophony is often more confusing than having no signs at all.

This flies in the face of a basic design principle. When we encounter a wall which has been plastered with a thousand signs, we will simply not read a single one — even though one of them is probably pointing us in the right direction. It’s a scenario that reminds me of a talk by the late Ken Garland in Leeds over a decade ago, in which he praised the lack of signs in the auditorium in which we all sat. It was the first time that anyone had plainly laid out to me one of the most seemingly obvious laws of visual design: the more content you include, the less people will read.

But these design laws aren’t respected here. Despite this country’s many admirable qualities, I keep coming back to this one failing: the signage is terrible and I keep getting bloody lost.

This usually results in one thing: I have to open my mouth and ask someone. I don’t care if they’re an employee, a random bystander, or someone who looks equally as lost as me, I’ll approach them and ask for directions. This is partly out of sheer necessity, but it’s also a habit learned through observation. Faced with awful wayfinding, people here just speak up and ask.

And that right there is the crux of this conundrum. Perhaps Spanish people don’t worry about signage because they don’t rely on it. They don’t care if there’s no way of figuring out where the gastroenterology department is, because they’ll just wander up to the first person they see and ask. If that person doesn’t know, on to the next.

I have to admit that I took this theory from a colleague after a conversation about it last week, which undoubtedly arose after I began complaining about Spanish signage. Hers it may be, but I feel that, as an outsider, I can testify to its veracity. I come from a culture which tends to avoid interaction more than promote it, and this conclusion seems to make perfect sense.

So never mind late meals, shouting, or directness, what might set Spain apart from my native England more than anything is the value placed on community over the individual. I think it’s this fundamental cultural difference that encourages these little social interactions, from the idle chit-chat in waiting rooms to the collective strife to try and find the bloody pillow cases in El Corte Inglés. The signage is lacklustre because nobody really cares to read it anyway. It’s secondary, a fallback.

Being a designer and an introvert, I’ve to admit that I prefer the English system. There’s nothing more pleasing to a typography nerd than a well composed wayfinding system, and there’s nothing greater for a weak social battery than being able to navigate a space without having to look a single person in the eye. But, deep down, I know that the Spanish system is probably better.

As much as I may love the signs in John Lewis, I think that a society which speaks to each other is a society a little less doomed to loneliness and unhappiness. For the greater good, I’ll have to put up with shitty bits of paper sellotaped to a wall at my doctors.

This whole theory is just that, so I could be way off. The link between societal priorities and the quality of wayfinding signage must just be one huge coincidence. Just like me being on the right floor at the hospital.


There’s always that one person in the family who simply has to tell everyone about their latest gadget, demonstration and all. In my case it was my great uncle, who one day showed up with a new phone and proceeded to demonstrate how it flipped open to reveal a circular number pad, much like an old rotary phone. He was a great guy, but my raging teenage angst meant that my reaction wasn’t exactly one of awe. I have a phone too, I thought, and I don’t have to flip it open to use it.

Bear with me, though, as that’s not where I’m going here. I really do get the attraction of being able to carry a large screen around. But today I want to talk less about the design of these devices and more about what they represent.

Mobile phones have been a status symbol for as long as I can remember. From Blackberry Messenger to the latest iPhone model, people don’t want to feel left out.The Duo marks the biggest break from the design of the iPhone since the original set the industry standard of one big screen. This means that it’s easier than ever to distinguish: onlookers don’t have to know about the latest colour option or camera layout to see that you’ve got the latest device. This will have tech nerds, rich kids, and your friend who thinks they’re an influencer clambering like never before to get their hands on the thing. Not just to boast their wealth, which the price tag definitely facilitates, but as a tool to demonstrate that they are keeping up with what’s new and trending.

My frustration here comes from the fact that Apple, in looking to pander to such an audience, have become them. They are now that annoying uncle who has to prove that he’s also up-to-date. Look, they’re saying, we can also do foldables!

It’s ironic that this company, whose vocabulary is increasingly limited to buzzwords such as innovation and revolutionary, have shown up so quantifiably late to this particular party. These modern foldable phones have been around for a while, and there’s nothing about Apple’s offering which is particularly groundbreaking. The rather decaffeinated descriptor from their website calling it “the first foldable iPhone” seems to offer a glimpse of self awareness; a tacit admission that the most unique thing about the Duo is that, if it wasn’t for the Apple logo on the back, it’s just another foldable phone.

There’s nothing wrong with making “just another foldable phone”, of course. I’m sure it’ll be a good one. I’ll definitely be admiring its design, sleek animations, and quality materials. I’m not that bitter. But I am nostalgic —perhaps too much so— for the time when Apple used their delayed entry into a sector to meaningfully innovate on what had come before. I was hoping that their first foray into foldables would come with some memorable world-first. It hasn’t. And I think that if you’re going to show up this late to a party, you’d better have something to show for it. You know, some extra booze or whatever.

So then, in the great words of humorist Will Rogers, “never miss a good chance to shut up.” It’s one of my favourite quotes of all time, and one which I find applicable to most situations in our hyperconnected world. It ties in perfectly with my worldview that there is great joy to be found in deciding not to do something. I do wish Apple would have applied this here. At the risk of going on a nostalgia trip once again, a guy called Steve Jobs once asserted that “deciding what not to do is as important as deciding what to do.” It’s a nod to a laser-sharp focus that has slowly been lost.

That said, I know why they’ve done it. I know that shareholders demand constant new releases and increasingly rapid growth. I know that Apple needs to offer something new to iPhone customers before they defect to enemy camps, seduced by competitors’ novel foldable phones. But I also know that the company has the bright minds, technology, and financial oomph to create something that is really and truly new. The iPhone Duo isn’t it, though.

This is, at the end of the day, a trivial issue: simply another purchase that people will make with absolutely zero impact on me or my life. But I am here to have a good old whinge and a moan, and this is the issue that everyone’s talking about right now. That’s because, deep down, we’re all that annoying uncle in one way or another. We either subscribe to the fad, or we talk about how superior we are for not succumbing to it. Lately, I’ve been the latter. I’m becoming insufferable.

My response, then, will be to do the same thing I have after all of Apple’s latest releases: I’ll stick another piece of tape to the smashed glass of my iPhone 12 and continue to flick away the pestering software update notification.  I’ll nurse this phone through its ailments, current and future, right to the bitter end.

In doing so, my battered and ancient phone will become just as much a virtue signal as a brand new iPhone Duo. It’ll indicate my feelings of superiority at not giving into what I perceive as societal pressure rather than true technological innovation.

Does that make me as much as a cunt as the next guy? Probably.