When there’s a new phone out, we all fawn over its design. We lust over its new materials and rush to get our mitts on the latest colour. Once we’ve the shiny new device in our hands, we admire its beauty for thirty seconds, maybe even a minute. Then, we unceremoniously shove the thing into a tacky plastic shell. It will now seldom be liberated from the evil that is the phone case.
In general, I do love a good contradiction, but this particular one annoys me. Maybe it’s because it involves mindless consumerism, maybe it’s because I’m a designer, or maybe it’s because it’s way too warm for October and I’m in a bad mood. But buying a phone because you like its design and then casing that design in some cheap plastic monstrosity makes little sense, even if it is “premium” (still ugly) or “invisible” (destined to yellow with age).
As much as I believe in the infinite stupidity of people and would love to blame them for this paradoxical behaviour, I’m going to complain instead about the two corporations involved.
First up, there are those who sell these cases. In Spain, we have La Casa de las Carcasas, a retail chain whose shops are dedicated exclusively to the sale of phone cases. These places are about as vibrant and garish as the product they sell, but in a way they remind me of little black cockroaches. Not only are they to be found on every street of the city, I can also imagine them surviving the apocalypse. Once the dust has settled after Putin nukes us all, there’ll still be a teenager in a green t-shirt ready to show you the latest range of floral phone cases.
Then there’s the tech companies pumping out a new model of phone every year. Faster, lighter, better battery life. A new design which is more durable and shatter-resistant than ever. The way they harp on about the invincibility of these phones, you’d think that cases would have been rendered useless by this point. But none of us really believe these claims, do we? I would ask why the hell we are buying devices from companies we don’t trust, but that’s a whole other topic and the unseasonal heat is limiting my brain to one simple thought at a time.
I also have to admit my biases, though. Those who know me will also know how insistent I am on the maleficence of phones. I think they’re evil. And because I think they’re evil, I don’t think they warrant being protected.
So come on, let’s live a little. Throw your nasty phone case in the bin. It’s ugly and I hate it.